ClemsonYoga

In Honor of Pattabhi Jois

Pattabhi Jois died on May 18, 2009 at the age of 93.  He was the founder of the Ashtanga vinyasa yoga system, which is where I began with a dedicated practice.  He was known for, of course, being a yoga master, and he was also known for his great sense of humor.  I had the honor of being led through the primary series for a week by him.  May his family be at peace and find great comfort at this time.

My First Meditation Teacher

A couple of years ago I was in Columbia for a meeting across from the Capitol Building. The meeting finished up a little early, but not early enough to get back to my office with any time left in the work day. On Main Street I decided to visit the newsstand.

In college, a friend introduced me to The Capitol Newsstand, and it instantly became a regular place where I went to poke around in the literature section and through their magazines and journals. Stacks of newspapers from across the nation and a few from other countries lined the floor that made a makeshift aisle between the books and the magazines. I had never been in a bookstore that carried philosophy, political, and law journals much less The Paris Review and other literary publications. The Capitol Newsstand was the part of my introduction to the wider world and a wider awareness of things.  It was there that I realized the wider world was accessible to me.

The friend who introduced me to The Capitol Newsstand was a philosophy major, practiced yoga, and meditated. He worked at jazz record store and not only had tons of jazz but also international records and books on Buddhism, Jung, etc. In the early morning, he would go out on his small concrete porch and practice yoga.  He told me was meditating.  I had never met anyone who did these things and thought only people who wear turbans and live in caves with infinite wisdom actually meditate and do yoga. Oh, and John Lennon might have been the exception to this.  Of course he was a guru (Don't worry, I found out later how untrue that is.  No offense to anyone.) 

I never asked to join him in yoga or meditating.  At the time, I was too busy being cool, which basically meant denying my own search for some kind of understanding of my inner life and its connection with the outside world. I ended up blowing him off (or he blew me off, hard to tell) and hoarded the memories of all the knowledge and ideas that surrounded him. I hid from myself the impact he had on me and my own yearning to try meditating and to know about Buddhism.  I kept it all underground until after I graduated from college and spent a year and a half in New York walking the city, not making enough money, sponging up all the books and art that I could afford to read and view, and writing poetry. Once I began reading some philosophy and books by Alan Watts, I created this picture of a community of peace filled meditators with a calm glow in their auras, and the rest of us were fortunate that these people walk the earth. These people knew my friend who played wild jazz with a drum, a trumpet, and a wheezy accordion.

When I found myself back in Salem, South Carolina recovering from the near two year culture shock, flat broke with no job and living with my mom, I began meditating.  The first time, I was so scared.  No one was there to show me how or to tell me that I was doing it right and that a flood of uncontrollable thoughts and feelings would not hurt me if I sat there for five minutes gazing at a candle.  In fact, afterward, I felt refreshed and my perception of inner and outer worlds was clearer.

 My visit to the newsstand 15 years later brought all this back. But the newsstand now is almost empty. There are no more journals in the racks, no more philosophy section, no more newspapers except maybe tabloids. At the cash register, they sell cigars and rolling papers. The racks are empty except in one small section that has magazines you can find at a convenience store that brings in its money from beer and malt liquor sales. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go take a look sometime.  I won't tell, promise.  But, as I went into the newsstand, I saw on the sidewalk a sign pointing to a meditation center above.

I walked outside and looked at the Capitol Building in plain view just one block ahead before I went up the stairs to the meditation center. I read on the sign that you can go there on your lunch break for a meditation session.  Courses are also offered there.  Would he be there? Would his friends be there?  The answer is of course not.

Nevertheless, I felt the stairs and the walls swell and contract as I got to the door. I walked in as quiet and unassuming as I possibly could and was greeted by a woman about my age, Michelle Gauthier, after I had scoped out the books on the shelf and peeked into the meditation room. She came out from a room in the back with a colander full of white fettuccine noodles that she put into a plastic container. She offered me a glass of water, and I felt like a traveler who had just been received into someone's house where it is natural for strangers on a weekday afternoon to come in for a rest.  

We chatted for awhile.  Michelle lived in Boston prior to coming to Columbia and at the time, was the  director of the center, the Ganden Mahayana Buddhist Center to be exact.  I sat at the kitchen bar and drank the cool water and told her about teaching yoga and my meditation practice.  Her cat came up to me and nuzzled my leg.  The next thing you know, he lept into my lap and refused for his affection to be rejected in any way.  As I petted him, blond cat hair got all over my suit.  Michelle apologized for the cat.  It was actually very comforting for this cat to love me so immediately and persistently.  I felt my day job was not very well connected to the way I am with my yoga practice and with meditation.  I took his affection to be an affirmation that somehow what I do in the early hours of morning does seep into the hours of my days where I am with people as a co-worker. 

A few months later, Michelle began offering meditation classes in Greenville at North Main Yoga, which is, by the way, a great yoga studio.  I attended a class, and she was very practical about it.  We sat in meditation for 10 minutes and then she talked to us about anger.  Her basic point was that we get angry because something or someone doesn't meet our expectations or we are in a situation that we do not want to be in.  So, the question to ask is can you do anything about it?  If the answer is yes, there is no reason to be angry because you can do something about it.  If the answer is no, again, there is no reason to be angry.  If you can't do anything about it, just move on.  She also pointed out how ridiculous it is to be angry when faced with stopped traffic or burned dinner.  Also, if we stop being angry toward strangers, we make room for compassion to develop.

So, where does all this lead?  Well, since my first encounter with a real live yoga practitioner, this way of life has become an everyday activity not only for me, but for a growing community right here in South Carolina.  Another thing is that the place where it all started for me has developed along with this growing community.  It makes me feel a kind of hope, strength, and serenity all mixed together to see this happening.  Also, I have more meditation and meditation-related stories to tell.  Maybe after a few more posts on this subject, we will see where it is leading.  Also, if you have feedback for me, by all means post!

Stay tuned to the Self....

Jamie Grimes

Yesterday morning I dedicated my practice to the memory of Jamie Grimes.  I got to know Jamie from attending trainings, workshops, and classes at Atlanta Yoga.  She was kind always and worked diligently in her practice.  When I first started a committed practice, I thought I needed to renounce things.  From Jamie I learned to be disciplined without being cruel to myself and to focus on the inner work.  From this, the rest will come as it should.  May she be in a place of peace and unity.

February Schedule

Here is my February teaching schedule:

February at The Garden
Wednesdays                        Thursdays
All classes as usual.             *No class Feb 1st.

February at The Rec Center
Saturdays
10th and 24th

Practice Notes: Practicing Independently
I have been attending a six week yoga workshop at Atlanta Yoga with Elizabeth Rogers.  The first day she talked about practicing independently and said that it causes us to internalize our awareness.  From this, we begin to practice on a transformational axis.  She compared it to rearranging furniture on the ground floor then discovering another room upstairs.  We like the space in this room and decide to move everything there.  I appreciate listening to what she says.

Ranjani Cobo

I attended Ranjani Cobo's workshop at Atlanta Yoga earlier this month.  She is a long time practitioner who has studied with the masters in India as well as with Tim Miller.  One thing that she told us really has stuck.  She said that Native Americans when discovering new territory wait 108 days there in order to see the path through it.  Applying this idea to yoga has made me take quite a few steps back.  For instance, in parsvottanasana, I am not going into reverse namaste at this point.  Rather, I am focusing on keeping my hips even as I fold.  This new focus means that I cannot fold as far as before, but all along I knew that some of the real work for me here is in my hips, a territory I know little of in this pose.

After practicing for so long and wanting to make progress, it is hard to let go of where you are to start over.  However, this kind of sacrifice I believe all long term yoga practitioners know must be done.  We can strive always to do poses to their fullest potential, but part of fulfilling that potential is to take away the framework we have built to get into and out of a pose along with any goals.  This will help us open the body even more to the pose whether it be in developing the strength or flexibility that is needed. 

During Ranjani's workshop, I realized that a lifelong yoga practice is not necessarily chugging through the primary series six days a week with the intention of mastering every pose.  Rather, a lifelong yoga practice is about experiencing and exploring the poses as a way to experience and explore the body and ultimately the self.  If we always visit what is known in our practice, we cannot fully explore what a yoga practice can offer.  The same goes if we always choose not to visit.  The known there is a belief that you can't do a pose.

We went through the entire primary series, and she showed us a way to place our hands that supports the wrists if there is pain in that area.  We also explored poses that can help us develop the primary poses in the practice.  In particular, we went from spread leg forward fold to a side split or pigeon.  In the first hour of the workshop, this rudely took me out of my ruts for the rest of the day and made me discover other areas in my body (and beliefs) that need opening.

She also told us that pressing the diaphragm into the spine is part of uddiyana bandha, which is something that I have been wondering for awhile.  Pressing the diaphragm towards the spine as part of the uddiyana bandha has made a difference in my jump backs and jump throughs because of the added support in my torso.

Below are some other poses and work that we did in the workshop.  I intend to introduce this to students in my classes over time.

• tensing and releasing corpse
• stretching and releasing corpse
• tucking in the chin
• kurmasana prep against the wall with strap
• spread leg forward fold to pigeon or side split
• revolved hasta padangusthasana
• unsupported shoulderstand before urdhva padmasana
• coming onto forehead for backbends
• blocks used between legs in backbends
• warriors leaning back instead of forward
• no knee floating in janu sirsasana c
• blocks for marichyasana c and d
• wrist support modification for wrist problems
• rolling up and uncurling into handstand
• blocks used with inversions on the head
• opening shoulders through inversions (eventually)

Pattabi Jois

Note: Click pictures for a larger image
He turns 91 in July. I went to New York last year to one of his weeklong workshops. Basically, we had to be at the Puck Building before 6:30am. 6:30 is when the practice started, early dawn. The first day, I got up at 4am and rode the empty train to the puck building. All was quiet, believe it or not, on a Sunday morning in New York.

Inside the Puck Building, the elevator opened up immediately to a gigantic shamble of shoes, clothes, and bags with a pathway that meandered to the registration tables and practice floor. I went into a room thinking I was clever and could put my stuff in a locatable and secluded place. No. I climbed over small hills of stuff to a little bitty spot that I could see was going to get buried in some stinky shoe avalanche. I could see my bag ending up somewhere in another room, shifted somehow, amidst the chaos after class, never to be found again, but I had no choice. The practice was going to start in about fifteen minutes, and I had to find my spot on the practice floor.

The practice room was as full of all the owners of all that stuff. At least I would hope so. It could have been the lost and found room for the building, who knows. From the looks of all the outdoorsy simple living active lifestyle brands, I’m pretty sure all that stuff belonged to these people.  There was one little sliver of a spot left at a corner near a heat pipe where I put my mat. The room was the size of a loft and the air was completely full of chatter and humidity from all the breaths and bodies. I didn’t see anyone come in after me. I realized I would have to leave earlier to get a good spot tomorrow.  How can I get myself up before 4am?

The room had old fashioned windows on three sides  with giant wooden ledges where you could pile up books or sit and look out over Broadway-Lafayette. Everytime someone walked by up front, we would pause for a second thinking it might be him. Then out they came, his grandson Sharath, his daughter Saraswati, along with a few others preceding him. He started with the invocation and immediately began calling out the movements for the first Surya Namaskara. “One…..Two….Three….Chatvari. Hey,  Chatvari. Bad man.” He simply counted us through every movement and expected us to hold the pose until he called out the next one. He tended to keep us in chaturanga. People in their patterns, including me, would start thinking it was time to go to the next pose, and he would say, “Chatvari!” We would drop back to where we were like little rabbits caught peeking out of our holes. He would continue, “Very bad. Bad lady.” He fussed at our eagerness at every practice. Sometimes letting us all giggle, and other times, letting us know that giggling was really not the appropriate response. After three mornings, he was expecting us to follow his lead and not our old habits or guesses. Making us hold poses we move through six days a week, made me pay attention to what I was doing in my chaturanga.

It also made the muscles in my shoulders incredibly sore in new ways. After a week of practicing this way, I finally was able to lower into chaturanga with ease, unlike before where my lowering was tenuous and on many days my breath jagged. After practice that week, this also included the inability to lift my arms above my head without the feeling of breaking up shards of glass that had imbedded in my shoulder muscles. Every morning I was reminded of exactly where I was in this process in a room where the sun rose as we progressed.

Each day was the same. He called out the entire primary series by the breath in a room crowded with sweating people. When we finished, people lined up to kneel at his feet, get a picture and perhaps give a gift. I saw a girl with a pageant sized bouquet of red roses making her way down the line to him. Some would stop and talk with Sharath and Saraswati who sat in a receiving line each morning and get pictures with them.  Everyone was trying to get to Guruji.

The night before the last class, I felt like I needed to give him something but didn’t know what. I stayed with a friend the whole week, and he suggested I take him some rosemary from my garden that I had brought for one of our cooking sprees during my visit. There was still a nice little bundle of rosemary left, so we got some yellow ribbon and made a bouquet of rosemary for him. The next morning, I put my bag in a place where the traffic and stuff was fairly light, a place easy to get to and get the rosemary. I waited in line for what felt like an hour. I passed Sharath, quiet, kind, patient. He will inherit the ashtanga vinyasa yoga lineage once Guruji is gone. I nodded to him and thanked him. He kept a watchful eye on us all during the week. Then I got to Saraswati, his wife. She had come around and adjusted me a few times. She made me pull my leg up high and bring my chin toward my knee in hasta padangusthasana. Something that I do not do at home nearly as well and didn’t know until then that I had that kind of flexibility. She was tough, patient, and kind with me. Even though we never spoke until that day, I felt like we had made a connection. When I got to her she looked at the rosemary. Sharath noticed it too.

I know that she was ready to be finished with the week and to move on. A big celebration was planned for that night for his 90^th birthday. She still had a heavy schedule of this plus a trip back home to India. How generous of her to wait while we all got our chance to stand beside her husband and get a picture.

When it was my turn with Pattabi Jois, I extended my yellow ribboned rosemary and said, "This is for you.  It came from my garden."  He put it to his nose and took a huge inhale, nodded his head, and set it next to him.  I think I did good.  Thanks, Dan.  I wouldn't have thought of it.

I didn't go to the birthday celebration.  If I had been a long time student of theirs and knew them well enough, I would have gone. Longtime practitioners and teachers showed up after practice each morning.   David Swenson was in line behind me the last day waiting to see Guruji. Eddie Stearn was a constant. I wasn’t even in the league of the ones who had recently made it to India for three months. Instead I went on a speedboat ride around New York harbor with my friends that night and had loads of fun while the captain blasted Jersey Rock all the way to the Statue of Liberty and back.

I could justify this and say it was my own way of celebrating his birthday. Maybe I will attend his 95^th birthday celebration and take a speedboat ride with my friends.

Tim Miller Workshop

This weekend Tim Miller will be at Atlanta Yoga.  I attended one of his workshops in New York a couple of years ago and highly recommend any of you interested to go this weekend.  I'll be there all three days and look forward to bringing new information to share with everybody in class.

Also, for those interested in my Rec Center Schedule this month.  I will be teaching the following:
Sat Mar 18 9:30am-10:30am
Sat Mar 25 same class time as above

There is a possibility that I will be covering a couple of Sunday afternoon classes at the Rec Center this month too.  I will post the dates and time if I do.

Thanks!
Renee